Unreciprocated Love
Then, she also remembered that it didn't last any longer than she ever dreamed it to and it caused more pain than anything ever could. She sighed heavily, and said, "How he ended up with someone else..." while resting her hands on her chest, she finally uttered, "...that is what I'm still trying to figure out myself." “How do you let go of the illusion that it was meant to be different?” She asks. “It wasn’t meant to be blood and tears and broken objects. I had bigger plans for us. We weren’t meant to be short term or be so unstable. How do you accept it for what it was, instead of holding onto a broken bit of string, insisting on trying to tie it back together?”
I am nothing by myself, because your life and mine must be interwoven into this fabric of subtle transformation. We are both striving for the truth. If we come closer to it, we will burn together. But coming closer to you, just igniting me with your presence, I could feel the weight of gravity, the starving emotions, the perpetuity of life into the unknown, full of gradations and sensibility, however this dance darling, this motion with the moon, has continue to flourish like the brocades, so, if this love would direct you, it is our common destiny, to be absorbed by its own duration. Because with you, I see everything in its explicitness, this excitability, the gradual sensations crystalline in nature, intermingling: my cravings, proudly asserting, drunk by the monologues that I yawn: the sum of accidents, mild caprices– how we create this ecstasy and ruin it.
You never realize it's unhealthy "love" until looking back, until realizing nothing was reciprocated, until you see selfishness was the underlying motive, emotions were avoided, words were evaded, manipulation persisted, and the only thing that kept you coming back was an idea, a plaguing spell, a distraction that swallowed you whole, a endless stream of hidden truths, a lie. You never realize until the relief hits, the mind can finally be quiet, the heart can finally be still, the soul can finally breathe, and finally you don't have to worry, things feel good, there is no more confusion, no more hopelessness, no more pleading between your heart and your mind. And when you realize you have been battling yourself all this time to leave, to move on, until you couldn't do anything else, the weight lifts, the war ends, you are free.
