Darkness
A smile only stays as long as it takes a frown to catch up. Even when a little burst of kindness comes your way, you think you can’t possibly be deserving of it. That there must have been a mistake, some kind of wrongness, a bend in time and space. You might be afraid: this darkness is what you know. You have learned your way around it. You know how to navigate it with your eyes closed, with your feelings on hold. You think that things don’t last, that they never do, and that this is the way of things. You claw at your skin because you are desperate to let the light in, but the cracks in your body are filled up with bitterness, impenetrable. Or so you think. You think that it is impossible to escape from this prison - whether it was you or someone else who put up the bars. You might feel like you can't move on, that you can never leave the darkness behind you. But please think back: there probably was a situation you could see no way out of three months ago, or ten months ago, or two years ago. But you found a way out. You always did. You chose to break out of your prison, to be open enough to let the light in. You chose to get up in the morning. You chose to let go. You chose to move on. You chose the way past the hurt, past the memories, past the fear of falling back into old patterns. You chose to step into the light. And you can do it again.
For me, you gave me light. You were my light, you were the saving hand that pulled me out. And I will always love you for that. I will always be in your debt, even though you just want me alive.
