Jealousy

I know we've never been "together." I know you said to move on. I tried to be fine with wading this weather, but the love in my heart still tells me it's wrong.

Now, I'm not saying I'm resentful, but you did treat me like I was special. Lately has been so uneventful. And I'm starting to think this isn't a game. I get a little jealous when you look at other girls. I know we're not together, but...You are my whole world. I get a little jealous when you talk about them too.

It's because we're not together, but you told me that you liked me... You told me that you do. Now, I'm not trying to be weird, but call me, I'd give you my time.

Actually, I'd give you everything, cuz I just want you to be mine. When I got too lonely, I'd just stare at your photos. Soundless replacements for you, who knows. You said I'm obsessive—come on now, don't play. You like it when I'm open, you preferred me this way. You said we'd be great together, don't think I forgot. I cherish every sweet thing you said, so my heart doesn't rot.

Now I've deleted all of your things, cuz I can't bear to see your face. My prized possessions... I should've given you space. Why wouldn't you make me yours, like you wanted to? Now we're apart, now we'll both just be blue. And now I regret this—now I really do. True, I'm a little weird, but we're both crazy. I know what you're afraid of; I know it isn't me.

You weren’t ever really mine and I wasn’t ever really yours. I liked to think that because it made my heart dance inside my chest, and it cleared my lungs from choking on the broken thoughts that always get spilled from my head. You always told me that you were mine, and you told me that I was yours. But in a world filled with fiction we started to blend. Months went by slowly but too fast. We built bridges between our hearts. It was fun and I felt free. But the thing is. You always thought about yourself. You put yourself first. You invented little lies and made pretend that you were making a constellation about us. And then it happened. One day the bridge between our heart fell to the ground. It was slow but everything seemed so fast. You left. And I’m here still mourning you like you’re dead. Maybe all along you really were.