I Remember
In those beautiful orbs I saw universes, possibilities, and a potentially connection. I wondered what your eyes would look like if they truly saw me, but I was shy so I didn’t speak. I remember winter, and the way I shivered before I saw you. You looked different, and I couldn’t help but wonder why. The light was no longer in your eyes. You still smiled when you saw me, but I couldn’t help but notice how quickly you looked away.
I talked this time; I promise myself I would. Words slipped out of my mouth like snowflakes, and melted on your indifferent skin. Stupid. Everything gets colder in the winter, I can’t blame you for being colder too. Next fall I watched the leafs drift away, and I wondered how you were doing. If you were different now, if I was.
When I saw you this time, I wasn’t ready. Your eyes held the same universes I saw many seasons ago, but things were different now. They were worn, tattered, and stained with reminders that not everything is beautiful. You looked at me, and I saw myself somewhere.
We are broken, and still somehow whole. We are crashing universes, falling stars, and a story made beautiful from its cracks. I see seasons in you, and I see myself falling in love with you over and over again.
I may not think about you, I may not speak your name but I cannot say the emptiness you left me with doesn't overwhelm me. I cannot say that I don't miss you, I cannot say I'm not worried. I can say you did everything you said you wouldn't.
I can say you left me broken, uncertain you even care. But that's usually how it goes. Young love. We don't even know who we are, yet claim to love someone. We don't know what we see in our future, yet so many possibilities. But we're here swooning over what we believe is love. So blind, so innocent. When we've yet to even lose ourselves.
