Strangers

I don’t know if I am becoming better, focussing on what’s important in life, or just trying to distract myself from loving you more, I mean I have no idea. 

Because one sudden day, I sat and wondered about everything you did to me and how you were before that. I still try to understand that transition between those completely different phases of my life, how you turned into a person I couldn’t live without. 

Then after some time you made me realise things I had always feared to know, those moments I was treasuring were nothing to you, perhaps a mistake you made, I knew you’d changed, I knew it wasn’t love. 

Deep inside your heart, you can’t deny to accept that what we shared was a pure feeling, not love maybe, but definitely something more heavenly.

See, where did I begin from and where did I end. I don’t know if this distance has truly helped me forget you. Because forgetting you seems like loving you more eventually. 

It’s like you lock yourself inside a room for days, trying not to look at the stars anymore and when it gets too much to handle, you break all the walls, the ceilings fall and you end up looking into the sky for the rest of your life, promising to never isolate yourself from them again. 

I wanted to call you today but I couldn't, my hands were shaking and I just didn't know how to talk to someone who hasn't even looked back after walking away, not for once even? How will I dial your number when you're nothing but a stranger? 

By the way, is this how things will be for the rest of my life? This is something I wonder at times and I just don't know why I find it difficult to breathe when I think of all of this, I think I still want you back. Are you ever going to miss me? 

I'll wait for a few more years, maybe you'd call by yourself, maybe you drop a text, an apology, some love, maybe you wish me my birthday some years later, I'm sure you'd not forget me, you'll again whisper my name the same way you did it at 3 a.m . You've hurt me enough, I know, but I still cry for you, I miss you. How do you not miss me, being a human, how can someone be so cold? Life is getting so difficult for me but you seem to have walked infinite steps away, would you never return? Will I die waiting for you..is this how my life would end?