Chasing The Sun
I often confess to you what’s been lingering on my mental, hoping you can somehow peek inside and drip your gold into me. Let it touch me in ways that chase the shadows away, making them vanish with such grace I can only feel warmth in the places you have grazed.
But sunshine is temporary; it often disappears along with time. Its frightening when you can feel the night growing closer and you can feel your goodbye already starting before the light is even gone. Its slow at first when it sets and its beautiful. Each time, it leaves touches of pink in the sky almost as if those spots resemble soft kisses as the sun makes its way down.
But then it flashes bright orange. I can feel my heart screaming from the color that can only represent a sign of warning. The day goes dark and I am reminded of abandonment and loss.
Why must I do this to myself. Why must I try to grasp onto something that has no business belonging to me. I simply cannot catch something that does not wish to be caught. But your glimmering smile tricks me every chance that it gets. It invites me in and gleams with pride as if accepting the attempt. Disappointment follows us and it knows it’s going to be one ended whenever me and you are its potential victims.
Even in those moments that I am left in the dark, you are a constant reminder of the sun. Always ready to come back to me every morning. You never fail to rise to meet my tired eyes from the struggling night without you before. I smile as I can feel the coldness growing faint and your familiar fingers as they make their way up to my face. Apologetic as ever. I close my eyes, not ready to let you back in. Not ready for the chase that I know way too well.
The thing about the sun is it feels simply wonderful but the longer you gaze at it the more it’s going to hurt. I should know. I have grown acquainted to the burn of watching you come and go.
