Alive or Living?
Life might sometimes feel too much. The empty wallet, the peer pressure, the stress, the daily routine, the horrors around us, the struggle to just survive, let alone be able to live.
The more we are overwhelmed, the more we retract. The more we retract, the more we enter dark spaces and dark thoughts. It is easy to lose hope and without hope there is no life. But don't end your life, end the life you know. Create a new narrative, a new beginning.
That fear, that restlessness, that anxiety, use it not to drown further and further down the rabbit hole but to fuel a change in your environment, in your mentality. Embrace that pain and listen to it. What is it telling you deep down? Not to die but to live, to live with courage, on your own terms. Embrace yourself, as you are, not as others want you to be. There is no formula to follow, don't let society swallow you and spit you out in its colors, it's okay to not belong; the most interesting people don't. Find your voice and it will carve a path. Don't let fear be a wall.
Look for solutions not obstacles. Focus on what is in your hands and fight for what isn't. Don't let shame guide you: love, break a heart, have your heart broken, experiment, take drugs. You have the right to fuck up, to see the world, to explore. You have the right to live. Don't let guilt haunt you. Let go of the weight of the past and breathe. Learn from it and release its toxins. We all fucked up, we've all been fucked. Look forward and start to walk, even slowly. Read a book, watch a film, listen to music.
There are so many beautiful things that have been created. Travel within the confines of your room. Write a book, direct a film, compose a song. You have it in you to create. Travel in the endlessness of your potential. Learn stuff. There is so much to learn. How to fly a kite, how to sail, how to make a table, how to edit a video, how to sow. Find something you want to do and learn how to do it. Sometimes life is just repeating patterns. Find the good patterns. Take baby steps. Give yourself a small mission every day, there are always wonders that lie beneath the heaviness of life, so many doors that you have yet to be opened. Take a walk in your neighbourhood and find the best bread, the kitschiest lamp, the coolest poster, the one taxi driver who wears a seatbelt.
Sometimes life is just small missions, small things. Learn to revel in the mundane and the exciting might just reveal itself. Be kind to others, be kind to stray animals, be kind to the unkind. But start with being kind to yourself. You are worthy of life. Now just seek the life worthy of you.
