Fondest Memories
No matter how much I wish to forget you, I still cling so tightly to the times we shared, like a child does its mothers arm, in fear of loss and loneliness.
I remember the first time I saw you, flushed and happy under the flashing colours of the room heated by boiling seas of bobbing heads on the dancefloor.
Even among the crowds of people and the booming of the speakers, it still felt as though it were just you and I, alone in a silent room. I felt such a strong connection in that moment, one I have yet to feel so strongly since.
When our eyes met it was like a thousand volts of electricity coursed right through my body, tingling as cupids arrow struck me through the heart and all the alcohol and adrenaline rushed to my head.
I remember the time we spent in Las Vegas, all giggles, and silent smiles. Our eyes did most of the talking, we filled silences with our thoughts. That day I felt love for the first time, present and fulfilled; where I was meant to be, when I was meant to be, who I was meant to be. With you this foreign city we wandered for hours felt like home, drunkenly in love laughing down corridors as though they were our own.
I remember that chilly night in mid-February, when you left me standing alone on the side-walk, shivering as I relished in the taste of the cigarette and whiskey that clung to your breath in the final kiss we shared.
The first time I felt true heartbreak, a weight dropping to my stomach, I felt it in my whole body as I shook with the sobs of tears that would flow for days without end, an ocean that’s gateway had been opened, the flooding never ceased. I felt my soul shatter in that moment, and I still lie here piecing together its remains, awaiting my heart to heal.
Though, despite the pain you caused, you were my first everything, I cherish these memories, still I love the memory of you.
Though I no longer love you, I still love the memories. You were the first of my many experiences and have led to my growth, and for that I am thankful to you, but never indebted.
