Trapped In Wonderland

Been having a lot on my mind lately. From simple stuff to complex. Been feeling a lot of different ways. I miss the way things used to be. When we were careless and carefree. When life was simpler than it seemed. Now, it’s all dark and gloomy. Ever since you left.

  I know you won’t check this for a very long time, so now is a good time for me to get some feelings and thoughts out in the open.

  It’s easy. I’ll put it like this: I never want to go back there, but you made me love it somehow. I remember. I remember. When we were kids and you were spinning me in the field next to our little school and you said, “how long until we leave?”. I replied, “we?”.  

I still think back on us. Months later. Almost 6 months to be exact since we last spoke or saw each other. I still think of everything.

Meet Fool, the pet turtle I caught and kept for little over a month. He was caught out in Lake Lure and I brought him home and put him in an aquarium tank. I let him go because it was too much maintenance to take care of him and I felt bad for keeping him in such a tiny tank. 

Some pictures and videos of Shadyside Dragway during 3 separate Test and Tune days. I do apologize if the quality is poor. I hope to go back soon but when it isn't extremely hot and humid outside. 

Here are a variety of printable guides (self help and self care, exercising and workouts, budgeting and finance, journal and diary prompts, and more). 

You can't quiet a racing mind, filled with all the most hurrendous of thoughts. 

He used to admire me from afar but, then he decided to disturb my heart.

Darkness all along. Darkness who listens, darkness what eats, darkness when needed, darkness where feeds, darkness whose my friend, darkness whom I've been. 

I know we've never been "together." I know you said to move on. I tried to be fine with wading this weather, but the love in my heart still tells me it's wrong.

When Angels of Darkness and Light Fall

People come and go as they please. That’s a fact. And that’s why we have doors - so we have a say in who we let in. We should have mental and emotional doors too. Because when something is a fact, and when it plays out, you can’t blame it on people.

"He used to admire me from afar..." she said tirelessly, "...but, then he decided to disturb my heart." She had no idea, that she will be captured in such a short span of time. She hadn't forgotten what it feels like to let someone finally stay inside her heart. 

It didn’t dawn on me until I laid down an hour ago. I had distracted myself all day but deep in the pit of my stomach, I knew something was off. I shrugged it off though and I laughed and danced around, happy as a bird in the spring. But then I laid down to sleep and that notification went off…