Trapped In Wonderland

 Your scent was of woodsmoke on a summers breeze. That of a freshly tilled garden and of the earth after a short rain.   It wrapped its strong arms around me, said to breath deeply and as I did my heels burrowed into the land I stood upon.  From that moment on I rejoiced as I held fast against storms and their might. I could not be moved, I would not yield, I did not tremble.  I could not be moved. I could not move. The earth was not caressing my body, but crushing it beneath heavy footfalls. This was not power nor a mighty anchor, but a weight disguised as a stepping stone. I could not reach for the embrace of my summer wind, it races away from me and leaves behind winters chill. I am withering without that radiance, I am nothing without you. I can grant you no forgiveness for the way you’ve left me bare to the elements.  Yet then you return, and in desperation I forget my resistance and collapse into your awaiting arms. Maybe it was not as cold as I remember. ...

Dear Special Someone, Let me start off, by saying sorry. I’m sorry that I’ve betrayed your trust. I’m sorry that all this time you taught that I was a good friend of yours but in reality, I’m just a deceitful man cloaking in the mantle of friendship secretly loving you.

We'd been dancing around each other for so long that I forgot who made the first move. I don't remember how it started, not exactly. All I know is that one day you showed up and I couldn't imagine my life without you anymore. But we came with an expiration date. Things like this never ended well for me. And though this one had trouble written all over it, I chose to dive right in.

A collection of open letters to different people. 

Life might sometimes feel too much.  The empty wallet, the peer pressure, the stress, the daily routine, the horrors around us, the struggle to just survive, let alone be able to live. 

I’m convinced that what hurts us the most in life is lack of clarity. It’s the not having closure, always wondering, being confused part of the bad things that happen to us that destroys us. 

Love, Here goes nothing. I’m going to spill my heart out in this open-letter. You won’t see this anyway, no one will actually (except my very few followers).

We all have our insecurities, parts of us that will always be vulnerable and raw. But those parts, will always be the parts we hide from the world. It could be because you're ashamed of them or because theirs something worth hiding, but you know the real reason? 

I want you to know that writing this letter did not come easily for me. There were parts of my life that I wished you were there, but then I finally understood that growing up without you was the best thing for me. 

“We are who we are” you used to say, as though we were only innocent bystanders. As though we couldn’t help what we’d become. I don’t think it’s enough of a reason and even less of an excuse. I prefer to use ‘what we’ve been through made us who we are today’, though that’s hardly any better. It gives the past too much weight. 

Every time I write about you its like I’m writing about the sun. A source of light, something gentle that makes everything glow with its powerful rays. 

“So,” he smiled, “tell me yours.”  “My what?” She replied.  “You know, your love story, tell me about the guy who made you obsessed with the idea that you’re better off alone.” 

My mother never believed in God. She would always tell me that holiness lay in the mundane, in the most ordinary moments of life; the ones that we don't even register as they pass us by. 

When I was sixteen, I fell in love with the idea of love and this blindly led me to someone who was not even worth a single glance never mind months of my time but he told me all the sweet things I wanted to hear and I stuck around for the false sense of validation. 

I remember when I was heartbroken like you. I remember how the waves of missing them was constant and the cruelty of being forced to carry on living despite constant reminders of memories laced with salt invading my gaping wounds.